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Radhasoami!
For years and decades I have been
wrestling with several fundamental questions,
like: “To what purpose? To what end?”
I haven’t really grown
closer to my answers.
Perhaps there aren’t any.
However, life remains a factual
state of existence
that one must live
and bring to its ideal fruition.
This naturally suggests salvation
as the optimal goal.
However, I still feel
none of this is
quite it.
It’s neither what I want
now what can resolve everything.
For one, I have met
extremely few Satsangis who appear
to genuinely live by the Satsang values.
Besides, the believed Satsang values
haven’t exactly been clearly defined.
Times are changing and values
also frequently undergo
subtle, manifest, and radical transformations.
Truth is a mere perspective.
As one evolves,
one acquires a higher perspective.
Everything appears to change altogether.
A different truth, more refined values,
a newer morality, further polished character.
Also, I may add, frequent
misunderstandings and conflicts
with the less evolved ones.
If our ideal itself is vague,
how can it be achieved satisfactorily?
I fear I may yet be
merely wasting my time and efforts.
As a genuine seeker,
I shall not rest short of
the Personal God and final Truth,
the ultimate Destination
and eternal Bliss.
So lead me, my dissatisfaction,
where you do,
I shall follow,
for there is much that I
have rejected in life,
but am yet to realize
my sought fulfillment.
I trust my Guru to merely
Play His Role Effectively.
My faith remains
yet to be realized.
My prayers are
yet to be answered.
I persevere, and await Grace ....
Radhasoami!
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